Dating 101 ½

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                   January 24, 1014

by author Bryce A Baker

Dating 101 ½

After ending a marriage, one can find solace in many ways. There is the pursuit of experiences thought to have been missed; drinking heavily to drown the sorrow of the expired marriage, or hyper dating. 

If I were to tell you my dealing with said trauma was unique, I would be telling a fib in the first degree. But in this my writing of words, I’m going to dwell on but one of these; hyper dating.

Since I have personally experienced three divorces, my expertise on the subject is substantial with the certificates to prove it. Now don’t get me wrong about the numbers. I’m not that bad of a person, it was just the circumstances that led to the demise of the relationships. At least I come with references!

Dating is a subject that should be controlled with legislation by the ‘Dating Control Board of Canada’. Rules should include heavy penalties for lying about one’s real appearance, age, or if and when one has had a sex change operation.

Entering into the dating world after a lengthy absence is like going from kindergarten to university overnight. The use of heavy doses of prescription medication helps a lot.

During my excursions into the twilight zone, I personally met many aliens pretending to be women.  These dates gave me insight and hope that when things can be this bad, there must be someone out there that doesn’t eat with their fingers.

Unlike many other men that have wandered into the realm of the horrifying area of dating, I survived with minimal battle scars. Fortunately, four years ago I met the most beautiful woman on earth, and we have bonded with intellectual and emotional super glue. Love you Rena!

In summation; if you are going through what I have called the ‘Alternate Dimension of Bilateral Emotional Partner of Permanent Coupling Disorder’, I have one word of advice; ‘Remembertoduck!’

This message has been brought to you by the ‘Learning Institute for the Misaligned Bachelor’. For more information please contact:  www.rednecklearnin’datin’stuffjustbecause.com

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker

www.bryceabaker.com

Do Skeptics Really Exist?

 

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                          January 9, 2014

by author Bryce A Baker                            

Do Skeptics Really Exist?

In light of my new book ‘Ghosts of Time’, which is about an extremely skeptic university professor, I had to do this Correct Me If I’m Wrong under the heading of ‘Skeptics’.

Through the thousands of years of human history, there have been the naysayers with closed minds that find anything that doesn’t slap them in the face, is preposterously impossible.

Personally, I feel that undiscovered mysteries or animal species are what keep us investigators chasing the unknown. If everyone had a closed mind like a radical skeptic, we would be pulling the wagon with the horse taking the ride.

The list of subjects that have the pro and con theorist’s squaring off is vast; Bigfoot, UFO’s, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Ghosts, Religious Studies and so on, are shrouded by people that can’t see past their noses. They are unable to understand that there is more than their closed mind and a big world out there.

 What is so hard for them to move past their selfish wall into the possibility of something new?

The strange and wonderful mysteries that keep hyper curious investigators busy, opens the door to better understanding in most cases. Just decades ago, if the average person was asked if it was attainable to land on the moon they would have said “That’s impossible!” I guess that’s why inventors and people with dreams get an extra push when they are told they can’t do it.

Everyone (except skeptics) has had strange, unexplained events at some point in their lives. Most don’t say anything in fear of being thought they have loose bolts. I have been privy to many strange, unexplained events (besides ex- wives!), and telling the stories doesn’t affect my unorthodox thinking. The doctor just keeps doubling my medication, and then I get more book ideas.

This is an excerpt from Ghosts of Time;

‘As children, we are programmed with our first known word and demand. The word is ‘NO’! This word trains and stifles the child’s psychological expansion of a substantial brain function. Their psychological growth is later minimized by labeling any that escaped manipulation as crazy. The mind is a wondrous organ that has infinite ability to stretch what has been confined.’

There are hundreds of new species of insects, and animals discovered every year, but I know… the skeptics say that’s impossible in this day and age.

Now sometimes there are unknown subjects that should be left alone; left without giving an answer to a question that shouldn’t be asked. This is for preservation against discovery abuse.

In summation; even with an open mind, I feel the subspecies of humans known as Skeptics are just a figment of their imagination, unless they can prove otherwise!

 

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                     

Bryce A Baker

 

 

www.bryceabaker.com

Thanksgiving

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                 November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving

Writing fictional books is like sailing through different worlds that may not be afforded us in real life. Authors command the adventure and realize the result without giving way to status quo. Putting the words to paper is scaling the impossible and immersing oneself in a dimension of imagination. It is a mind drug with incredible side effects.

When I write a sentence, there is always a paragraph behind it.

I originally wrote this for Facebook, but because it is a time for thanksgiving I felt it was appropriate in this ‘CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!’

Canadian and American thanksgiving days are a month apart, but it should be noted that we should give our thanks every day. As a Christian, I personally have taken criticism for being of my faith, but as I learned many years ago, I am not here to accept that criticism as a base for why I am. No matter which God or belief one follows, is not of my judgement. If our faith is a positive message and a benefit to our neighbors then so be it.

Many times Christians have been labeled as hypocrites. Well they are right; everyone is a hypocrite, but if one seeks positive answers and a way to help others then they are in the right place. In my previous career I have seen the bowels of evil and if a person wishes to live and believe in that then they are already paying the price of loss for there is no brother standing next to them.

Whether one is a Christian or Muslim or a Buddhist or whatever, it is the positive example that is the biggest teacher to others. If you reach out, they will reach back.

In my work I have had Guardian Angels with me, and I thank the Lord for providing them. I also thank Him for the spiritual gifts bestowed, for his message shall be given.

The following is an excerpt from my second book ’Shield and Sword: Into the Light’

‘As one stands at the bottom of a canyon looking up the steep rock walls it is time to understand why you are where you are. To reach the top of the cliff walls takes dedication, reflection, and positive spirit.

Many times I have been on top looking down and found myself plummeting back to where I began in the canyon base. These rises and falls are part of life and the important thing is how we react, learn and mature. It isn’t because of anyone else's error but our own. We have all been given the spiritual and physical strength to overcome calamities. The answer doesn’t get resolved consuming alcohol or drugs. On the contrary, the problems remain and are amplified by a hangover.’ 

I have learned that a positive spirit makes the journey less corrugated and more of an adventure. Appreciate the gifts that are given to us in bounty and not the bounty in the gifts.

Even though my climbs up the cliff walls have scarred my physical being and my soul, these battle scars only remind me of, and amplify the good given.

We may not live in a mansion or drive a fancy car but if we are happy on a bicycle and dwelling in a tent, take no criticism for you are you. Give the person beside you on the cliff wall a hand. The climb for them may be more difficult.

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker

www.bryceabaker.com

Burden of Knowledge

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                                                November 15, 2013

by author Bryce A Baker

Burden of Knowledge

As a former undercover detective I, like most bad guy hunters, have seen the vile part of society. Most people are unaware, or selectively blind to the world around them.

In the 1980s there was a criminal investigation and recovery that a detective and his partner were assigned. An eighteen year old woman was kidnapped and as the investigation proceeded, a general case went viral. The main suspect was a landed immigrant and was a key figure in a Canada wide criminal organization. The suspect falsely coerced young ladies toward glitter but became prisoners of the street. This organization forced young ladies into heavily monitored prostitution and leased out to ‘pimps’ by the week in different cities across Canada. Yes Canadian slavery!

Two weeks into the investigation, the ‘brass’ told the detectives to stand down on the investigation, or ‘stop’. The lead detective had a chronic case of persistence, and a week later ‘recovered’ the young lady from a ‘lease pimp’ in Alberta.

The detective and partner interviewed the young lady shortly after recovery and confirmed the organizations arrangements and drug induced compliance. She also witnessed a murder of a forced prostitute in Winnipeg who was caught holding back money from the pimp for escape. He put her against a wall and drove his car into her. The detectives later confirmed the murder. No charges were pursued because all the witnesses were blind at the time. The recovered lady also said that a number of clients across Canada were municipal, provincial, and federal politicians and named many names.
The young lady was sent to drug rehab in a secured location and later put into a safe house.
The interview was not submitted with the main report and has been secured in a safe place.

Considering the age of the case, it is assumed the lot of politicians are now history. Charges were never brought against the landed immigrant ‘boss’. At the time, there was a hit contract put out by the suspect against the detective. This contract was never fulfilled and involves another long story.
As a retired detective, this story is only one of thousands that can prey on one’s emotions and confidence in the politicians who we depend on to make our laws and govern a safe, productive country. Now if this interview was released at the time, the retribution from the guilty would have been severe, as well as the criminal organization that is so conscience void.
 
Telling this story does not give reprieve from the burden of knowledge, and many will say “That doesn’t happen in Canada.” So as we enjoy the freedoms our soldiers have given us; the hidden war at home steals the lives of those TAKEN by Organized Crime.

There is the old saying:”What you don`t know won`t hurt you.” Well, I hate to burst your bubble but, IT IS!

Many ‘Law abiding citizens’ add to the carnage every time they buy an ‘Innocent’ amount of dope, pick up a prostitute or any other so called ‘harmless’ ride away from honor. Each grain of sand can become a beach. But it’s okay; there are people to protect you.

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker   
www.bryceabaker.com

Lost In Space

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                               November 1, 2013

By author Bryce A Baker

Lost In Space

Last and certainly least in my three pokes at reality TV, is the barrage of UFO hunting shows. Personally I strongly believe there is life on other planets or other dimensions. It would seem rather silly to believe that amongst the many universes that inhabit our reality, that we are the only creatures with the ability to create such havoc.

There are so many re-enactments of past sightings and events of visitors from the far beyond. But telling the same experience a billion times is only boring me to no end. The shows provide apparent evidence of celestial spies but add different versions of their analysis, which re-questions the investigative confusion. 

Hyper curious hunters spend most of their lives sitting on a mountain side with camera in hand waiting for the million dollar picture that will escalate them to riches and fame. I can imagine that our alien intruders are well aware of what these people are up to and taunt them with a light show or opportunity to be criticized by the endless number of skeptics.

Then there are the shows about abductions and being probed. All I have to say to this is “What have they got that I don’t?” I would love to have Sparky beam me up. Listening to their stories of being scooped up by a beam, probed and being programmed, is just like one of my marriages. No one believed it happened that way.

I am a fan of one show though called ‘Ancient Aliens.’ This show investigates the ancient structures from our hidden past. These structures that are sometimes thousands of years old, and even with today’s technology would be near impossible to construct. Their theory is that ancient aliens assisted or built these monuments of present day mystery hunters. My theory is that the aliens built them to occupy a select group, with an old version of Rubik’s Cube. What’s the saying??? Busy hands keep the TV ratings up!? OHHH… as I commented before, the fellow with the ‘wind tunnel’ hair would be a lot more productive if he fixed his hair.

Yes I do believe in aliens… how else could our governments be programmed to run so inefficiently and confused?!

In closing, I wish to thank all those hunters of Aliens for providing me with entertainment on those long cold nights that there are only reruns of Star Trek. Go forth and seek what others may think is crazy in the hopes that Sparky will be there for you.

P.S. Government cover up? I wouldn’t know… they told me to shut up!

Please... CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker  

www.bryceabaker.com

Big Feet?

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                                                    October 18, 2013

By author Bryce A Baker

BIG FEET?

Second in the three, is the show on television by the name of ‘Finding Bigfoot’. Not defacing all the Good Investigators’ that actually have legitimate credentials, I evaluate this program as a Government Conspiracy to cover up the real truth with stupidity. If a creature named Bigfoot does exist, this show will protect their anonymity.

After I do an article, I receive feedback stories and opinions touching on that subject. However, somehow my ‘Bigfoot’ article leaked out prior to release and I received an email giving their opinion. Normally I wouldn’t rewrite an article with such an event but in this case I feel it is warranted. The following is a copy of that email to me.

“To: Mr. CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!;

My name is Mr. B. Foot and I have been following your articles for some time, and have determined that our story needs to be told. If you feel that it is worthy of telling, you have our permission to post it.

For centuries the humans have been searching for us and we have tried to stay hidden, but our home is being slowly taken over by the Humans. Our ‘Anti-Being Found’ teams have done great work in masking our existence with misinformation and our skeptic groups. Fortunately for us, most humans aren’t interested in the truly unknown.

I need to clear up a few things so maybe we can just get these strange people off our trail. When we hear the human by the name ‘Bobo’ (Expert Field Caller) calling us, it is extremely difficult keeping our group from bursting a gut from laughing. His call is in the wrong dialect and is actually saying, “I’m lonely and need a girlfriend!” When the others call we hear it as a yell we have when we are constipated.

No we aren’t attracted to, or curious about, fireworks lit off in the middle of fire season. No we don’t respond to a baby doll crying in the middle of nowhere. Yes we smell but can you imagine the cost to us for razors and deodorant. Yes we leave footprints…what do expect for weighing eight hundred pounds. The antique siren wakes our babies. Yes we sometimes go in and around human homes… How do you think we get free internet?

We really appreciate the female member of the show that plays ‘the sceptic’. We need more… ‘drama’ in our programming. And their ‘Bigfoot Files: True or False’… RRRIIIGGGHHTT!!! Porcupines don’t eat our bones and we use ‘bear spray’ on our vegetables! Daniel Boone did not shoot one of us! Who do you think gave him his raccoon hat for Christmas!?

In closing we wish to thank the producers of the show for making sure no one discovers our existence. My wife though, has been in therapy for years now because of the harassment, so if this doesn’t stop we will be forced to retain a lawyer and take legal action. And can someone please tell ‘BOBO’ we are BIGFOOTS’ and not SQUATCH’S.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Mr. B. Foot the 37043 rd.”

Wow! What can I say after that? I thought I was the only one that found the show as a great example of useless Reality TV.

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker 

www.bryceabaker.com

To Ghost or to Not Ghost

 

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                   October 4, 2013

By author Bryce A Baker

To Ghost or to Not Ghost

As a break from the harsh reality of my usual rants, I am going to write on my favorite humor source; Reality TV. This is the first of three. My first target is ‘Ghost Hunters’, on this subject I have some experience. When I built a home in Victoria on an old homestead acreage, we soon discovered it had a spiritual squatter. To shorten a very long story about ‘Herbie’, he was extremely vigilant in causing a disturbance. So being of open mind, I watch ‘Ghost Hunters’ with substantial interest… BUT considering my investigation background, the show presents itself as an endless source of material for stand-up comedy. Even though I believe there is a void in our reality that presents these spirits to irritate the living, the show is convincing me to the contrary.

Show after show we are entertained with buildings of old that the translucent entities captivate our attention. The crew of hunters are well equipped to capture sound and visual but, unconfirmed sounds and touch relinquish any belief the spooks exist. A camera man follows the pairs of spook chasers but as the investigators share a vision of an encounter, the camera is focused on the investigators face, then pans to the area, then back to the face. At that time another vision is announced. KEEP the camera where it is of some purpose. Facial expression of encounter and drama seems to miss the target. Pun intended. A head mounted camera may serve a purpose!!

As the team enters a predisposed area of spirit encounters, they practically yell to the tenant that they want to talk to them and try to build a relationship of trust. Then the team whispers to each other. I guess spooks can’t hear quiet conversation.

Personally if I were a ghost and encountered the team trying to expose me, I would be exploding in laughter. Mind you, without my hearing aids they have me beat when they’d whisper. Now even though I get great entertainment with the show, they are convincing me that ‘Herbie’ is a figment of mine, and many others imagination.

Because of my beliefs these spirits are of Demonic origin, and ‘Herbie’ showed that. But my understanding of this subject matter is up for controversial debate. I have been married three times so after my departure from this world, I threatened to come back and haunt them. Now even though this would be a great idea, the plan now is to request the Ghost Hunter team to come play. Not to worry, I won’t scare them toooo much, and it will probably give them another season of Reality TV. Oh! Just to clarify, I wouldn’t be a Demonic spirit, just a ghost with too much time on my hands and many years of fun to look forward to with ex’s. My real goal would to be the best Ghost writer ever. 

There are some feed off shows like Ghost Hunters International and Ghost Hunters Academy where potential Hunters learn their craft. So maybe I will take courses in Spookology, learn to speak ‘Spook’ and join the team.

In all seriousness, if my day job was plumbing, the thought of chasing ghouls at night would be very tantalizing too.

In closing I have one question for them. “Why do they turn off all the lights and use night vision cameras?” All the reports have been in plain sight by the ‘Spookees’, guess the ‘Spookers’ don’t wear sheets at night. Any way I’m glad there are people seeking answers to questions that over curious people like me don’t need answered, but now I can safely walk at night through a graveyard and know that if I whisper, they won’t know I’m there.

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker

www.bryceabaker.com