Friday, 18 October 2013

Big Feet?

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!                                                                    October 18, 2013

By author Bryce A Baker

BIG FEET?

Second in the three, is the show on television by the name of ‘Finding Bigfoot’. Not defacing all the Good Investigators’ that actually have legitimate credentials, I evaluate this program as a Government Conspiracy to cover up the real truth with stupidity. If a creature named Bigfoot does exist, this show will protect their anonymity.

After I do an article, I receive feedback stories and opinions touching on that subject. However, somehow my ‘Bigfoot’ article leaked out prior to release and I received an email giving their opinion. Normally I wouldn’t rewrite an article with such an event but in this case I feel it is warranted. The following is a copy of that email to me.

“To: Mr. CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!;

My name is Mr. B. Foot and I have been following your articles for some time, and have determined that our story needs to be told. If you feel that it is worthy of telling, you have our permission to post it.

For centuries the humans have been searching for us and we have tried to stay hidden, but our home is being slowly taken over by the Humans. Our ‘Anti-Being Found’ teams have done great work in masking our existence with misinformation and our skeptic groups. Fortunately for us, most humans aren’t interested in the truly unknown.

I need to clear up a few things so maybe we can just get these strange people off our trail. When we hear the human by the name ‘Bobo’ (Expert Field Caller) calling us, it is extremely difficult keeping our group from bursting a gut from laughing. His call is in the wrong dialect and is actually saying, “I’m lonely and need a girlfriend!” When the others call we hear it as a yell we have when we are constipated.

No we aren’t attracted to, or curious about, fireworks lit off in the middle of fire season. No we don’t respond to a baby doll crying in the middle of nowhere. Yes we smell but can you imagine the cost to us for razors and deodorant. Yes we leave footprints…what do expect for weighing eight hundred pounds. The antique siren wakes our babies. Yes we sometimes go in and around human homes… How do you think we get free internet?

We really appreciate the female member of the show that plays ‘the sceptic’. We need more… ‘drama’ in our programming. And their ‘Bigfoot Files: True or False’… RRRIIIGGGHHTT!!! Porcupines don’t eat our bones and we use ‘bear spray’ on our vegetables! Daniel Boone did not shoot one of us! Who do you think gave him his raccoon hat for Christmas!?

In closing we wish to thank the producers of the show for making sure no one discovers our existence. My wife though, has been in therapy for years now because of the harassment, so if this doesn’t stop we will be forced to retain a lawyer and take legal action. And can someone please tell ‘BOBO’ we are BIGFOOTS’ and not SQUATCH’S.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Mr. B. Foot the 37043 rd.”


Wow! What can I say after that? I thought I was the only one that found the show as a great example of useless Reality TV.

Please... CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG!

Bryce A Baker
 
www.bryceabaker.com

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