CORRECT ME
IF I’M WRONG! 10th edition May
31, 2013
By author
Bryce A Baker
Does Anyone Know Where I Put My Sanity?
Aging is a
biological progression of a body deteriorating to a rickety fragile state of
grumpiness. Well okay, that only pertains to me. We all have made the comment.
“If I would have known then what I know now!” It’s sad that we spend decades
gathering experience and knowledge and when we finally get smart to living we
bite the bullet.
I watch the
ads on television on age defying creams and lotions to look years younger.
After years of research into this I can without doubt confirm this is bodlewoggle.
I still look old! I am very disappointed with myself having my chest move south
like the birds and forcibly steaming the bathroom mirror to avoid the shock in
the morning. Unfortunately the mind sails into stormy waters as well. I post sticky notes all over the house
reminding me of the chores and responsibilities forced on me. My wife does have
a problem with the sticky note I placed on her though. She feels my duties of
marriage should not have a sticky note to remind me.
One knows
they are getting old because your grown children have teenage children of their
own. Your grandkids buy you Geritol in bulk for you for Christmas. You don’t
understand the new form of language spoken by the young people. Then there is
technology! What the heck do we need cars that park themselves? No wonder no
one knows how to park. Back in the day we used to pick up a corded phone and
say something to the person on the other end, seemed to work pretty well. Now
cellphones are almost surgically attached to their hands, and people don’t talk
anymore, they Flitter or Oogle or Twicker. I think it’s an
alien conspiracy.
Computers…
took me two years to learn how to turn the stupid thing on. Then it says “you’ve
got mail.” How do you get the letter out of the machine? I had to write my
password on the computer because it wouldn’t talk to me otherwise, and I was
short on sticky notes. Life was simpler back in my younger days. When you
bought something you paid with money, now they invented electronic money. As
long as I can remember what my pin number is I have money. THAT works for me.
Anyway,
amidst all my confusion of aging there are some benefits. I get seniors price
on my coffee. I can con my kids to do chores because my Arthritis is acting
up. I can blame my poor hearing for not
understanding my wife’s nagging. So I know now that when I pass on, I will be
the smartest, dumb dead person.
By the way…
does anyone know how to turn a computer off!
Please... CORRECT
ME IF I’M WRONG!
Bryce A
Baker
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